Chemistry between partners is not necessarily a recipe for a long-term relationship

The strong chemistry at the beginning of the relationship and all the butterflies in the belly can certainly turn from lust and previous attraction into true and sincere love, but there is no rule. What influences whether love develops out of lust or not?

Research or an analysis conducted in the U.S. found that nearly half of couples separate because of unrealistic expectations in a relationship. This is mainly about the expectations that touch the partner. The biggest problem is the misconceptions we create at the beginning of a relationship based on the active action of hormones and, as various psychologists say, the period of strong chemistry usually passes very soon. Many people are not supposed to be able to go mainly through the stage from idealization to the real image they see in a partner. For which we all know we need a good measure of courage.

Passion should not be equated with love

The Bright side portal has published statistics that say that chemistry in a relationship is not love, but it is about passion and attraction. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist working at Rutgers University, talks about research conducted at the said university. Scientists have conducted a test on more than 300 people. They asked them what chemistry meant to them. Only 9 percent of men and women associated chemistry with love.

Responses such as biological reaction and passion received three times as many votes. Namely, love can be divided into three different stages; it starts with lust, continues into attraction, and ends with attachment, Fisher says. The first stage, which we call lust, can also be chemistry, is nothing more than the charging of estrogen and testosterone, in both sexes, which serve only a biological note – reproduction.

Emotional maturity is required

As already mentioned and as Fisher says, most people are not supposed to be able to go beyond their ideals. Even if people persist in a relationship, even when the initial phase of strong hormones is over, we start looking for all those flaws that were present at the beginning, but we didn’t want to see them because of ‘falling in love’. The fact is that no one in the phase of infatuation and strong desire can expect to be fully and completely sober, but the characteristic of emotionally mature people is that even after this phase passes, they know how to accept a person as he is.

This is the reason why chemistry is not the only, much less the most important component that affects the longevity and success of a relationship. According to various psychologists, the recipe lies primarily in respecting and accepting difference.