Relationship advice: talk openly about everything

Love is weird and unpredictable, and often times it can fool us so we do crazy things. Without thinking.

And as Robin Williams used to joke: ‘God gave men a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to do both at the same time.’

It’s not a problem to get in a relationship, it’s a problem to stay in it even after the initial craziness and infatuation has passed. Because then, besides yourself, you want a person you truly respect and enjoy in your company. She won’t always make you happy and that’s normal. He will support you in difficult times, he will give you advice, he will listen to you. This type of love is difficult, but more lasting and meaningful, and brings true happiness. If not, the relationship will begin to crumble like a tower of cards.

Some people never make it to that deep and unconditional love, but are addicted to the ups and downs of romantic love from the beginning. When that feeling leaves them, they leave the relationship.

Communication and respect
‘For me, respect is above all. Beyond sexual attraction, appearance, common goals, religion. There will come days when you will not feel love for your partner. And that’s true. But you never want to lose respect for him. If you lose it once, you will never return it. But you can bring love back. ‘

‘My husband and I have been together for 15 years. I thought a lot about what kept us strong for so long, as the many marriages around us fell apart. One word I kept coming back to was respect. Showing respect is not enough. You need to feel it. I have a deep and sincere respect for my husband, and I admire his work ethic, patience, creativity, intelligence … From this respect, other things come – trust and patience. I want to hear what he has to say on a topic (even when I disagree with him) because I respect his opinion. ‘

Examples provided by readers:

Never talk badly about your partner in front of friends. If you have any problems, talk to him about it.
Respect the fact that he / she has different hobbies, interests and worldviews than you. Just because you want to spend energy on other things doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better or worse.
Respect that you are equal in the relationship and that you are a team. If one person on the team is unhappy, then he fails.
Communication is the key. Talk often, talk openly and everything. Even when it hurts. Conflicts are inevitable, but don’t hide things for fear of criticism.

Talk openly about everything
‘We always talk about what bothers us about the relationship. We have so many friends whose marriages don’t work and they come to me and tell me about it. And you should talk to your partner about it. I can’t help them. If you can’t talk about problems with the person you share your living space with, then this is an even bigger problem. ‘